Judge John Hodgman
Forks in the Dishwasher — Tines Up or Down?
A ruling on a timeless marital dispute.
Carey writes:My wife, Sue, and I disagree on how to load silverware into the dishwasher. Sue insists on putting the forks in prongs up. She says that it cleans better this way. I prefer to put the forks in prongs down. Then when unloading you don’t touch the eating part of the fork. Who’s right?
What will Judge Hodgman rule?
A: Your wife is wrong. And since I presume you are equally dividing the work — her loading, you unloading — you deserve the right to clean up in peace without going to the emergency room with a surprise fork in your palm.
B: You are wrong. First of all, they’re not prongs. They’re tines. And presuming this is a classic dishwasher silverware basket situation, those tines just aren’t going to get consistently clean when bunched up at the bottom. Just be more careful when unloading.
C: It’s not a matter of opinion. Some time ago, who knows when, a human sat at a desk writing clear, thoughtful and accurate instructions for your specific dishwasher in a user manual you surely just threw away. But their uncredited and unsung work for you is still online, and the answer is contained within.
John Hodgman is the host of the “Judge John Hodgman” podcast.